New year, same daft old tosh coming from your lot...
"Tell me honestly. Did you eat a cat treat or did you nearly eat a cat treat?"
“You like gherkins? I don't mind them. I like throwing them at people.”
“I don't want a job. I just want to play with puppies.”
Mam: What do you say to Nanna for getting you the pyjamas?
Kid: Nothing. I don't want them. I wanted the bike.
Man: Might just get some garlic bread.
Woman: What do you want that for? Just to eat?
Dude: I'm just gonna spend all my money on booze.
Lass: What about skydiving?
“I thought Nottingham was revolting until we came here! Pity we’ve got to get the train now.”
“Now I don't like to interfere, but you know me I can't not say anything.”
Man: Is dippable even a word?!
Woman: It should be.
“I'm terrin' ya, when you find a good girl you gotta keep it. Buy her a chain or summat.”
“She's really funny. She's just a bit of a c**t.”
“I've got in shitloads of booze in for Shannon's sixteenth. Well, I'm not having them get stuff from just anywhere.”
"Look what fate brought. Me in your personal space."
"That's enough cake to to fill a house!"
“So you could use the paddle board, or you could sit on the front of the big board while I push you around. It's whatever you want to do, really.”
“They've opened one burger place, so let's open another burger place! It's so stupid.”
"You've got shitty shoes, you shitty-shoe b*****d."
''I’ve spent more on chlamydia medication than your car’s worth."
Bloke: Look at them.
Woman: What are they?
Bloke: Roast conkers.
Woman 1: At last year’s Christmas party, there was a young woman who got her boobs out.
Woman 2: I never…
Woman 1: She has a good rack though.
“Some of those kids look familiar but to be honest they could be anyone.” – Woman watching schoolchildren singing carols.
“Oh mah God, carols on a piano! I've heard it all now.”
“How long have you been in Nottingham now? Didn't you arrive in time for that party on December fifteenth, when someone got stabbed?”
Woman 1: I don't like fireworks any more
Woman 2: Why?
Woman 1: Well, they upset the animals, don't they?
Bag yersen the new Overheard in Notts Tea Towel.
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