The British Stammering association have estimated that around 700,000 people in the UK have a stammer, yet so many people are not aware of it. International Stammering Awareness Day happens every year on the 22 October, where stammering associations, individuals, and groups around the world organise events to mark the day and raise awareness for people who stammer...
The Nottinghamshire Self Help Group for Those Who Stammer are just one of the many that are aiming to spread the word on stammers. Meeting every fortnight, the group helps those who stammer through speech therapy, interview practice and holding debates, all to help members with their speech and confidence.
A member of the group, Sibon Phiri, talked us through her experiences, and what life is like living with a stammer. Sibon is currently in the process of qualifying as a lawyer in the UK, and was also sworn in as a lawyer in New York earlier this year. “For as long as I recall, I’ve always had a stammer. I think I realised when I was only five years old.”
Sibon explained that on her first day of school, she was sent to what was described as the naughty corner. When her name was called out in the register she was unable to get her words out to answer. This led to the teacher getting frustrated, assuming Sibon had ignored her. Such unfortunate misunderstandings are an example of what campaigners are hoping to be avoided by improving awareness.
Sibon said “During my school years I kept myself as quiet as I could so that I could avoid speaking, even some of my teachers never knew that I had a stammer. I hid it for as long as I could, but obviously you start to get older and then you start to want to speak more.”
People with stammers often find it difficult to carry out simple everyday tasks that people of able speech take for granted. For example, going to the shop, or hopping on the bus and asking for a ticket can prove to be very difficult and frustrating for those with a stammer, as others just don’t have the patience or understanding.
“I am like everyone else, I might not speak as fluently as everybody else, but everybody has a flaw, everyone has something that they don’t like about themselves. No one is perfect” says Sibon.
One of the biggest difficulties that Sibon overcame was looking past the comments of others. “Nothing stops me, I just live my life normally because I am a normal woman. I have a normal life like everyone else; if I’m honest, sometimes it slips my mind sometimes that I have a stammer.”
Yet it was the comments of others that held her back from wanting to pursue her legal career. “It was the replies from others that slowly made me shy away. When I was in my second year at university I had work experience in a law firm, and one of the solicitors saw that I had a stammer when it came to certain words. She said to me ‘If you want to be lawyer, you’re going to have to sort out your speech’. Obviously that did make me feel a certain way.”
Stammering can be hard to define, but what we can define is the impact it can have on someone’s life. One in twenty children in the UK have a stammer, and for many, including adults who stammer, speech therapy is the best and often in some circumstances the only option for someone to control their speech.
Living with a stammer can get very frustrating in social situations where people are not educated enough to understand, or to give the person their time and attention.
Sibon said “The way we speak has no reflection of our intellectual ability, and it doesn’t have a reflection on our character or personality. I’ve seen people who assume I’m nervous because I’m stammering and I’m not nervous at all.
“Just try and just let us speak, because one thing I don’t like is when somebody tries to complete my words for me or tries to guess what I’m trying to say. Just let me say it. I know they’re trying to help, but at the same time, if someone completes my words for me then I’m never going to learn how to release it in an easier way.”
If you'd like to join The Nottinghamshire Self Help Group for Those Who Stammer, contact Richard Seals on 0796 895 1872, Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm
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