What you been chatting this month?
Lad in shop: “I like to get my money's worth”
Old shopkeeper lady: “That's what your mum said when she had you”
Girl 1: “Oh! I forgot to say, I saw...:”
Girl 2: “Me tits?”
“Students are comin’ back and all, as if one virus wasn’t enough to deal with”
“The year's gone really fast and I haven't done anything, I went in Home Bargains the other day and they were getting the Christmas stuff out”
“When picking blackberries, you have to think like a blackberry”
Mum to three-year-old kid: “I’m seriously gonna walk up to a police officer and hand you in”
Woman: “You’re so clever”
Man: “No I’m not”
Woman: “Yeah you are, I can only speak one language and that’s Hucknall”
“You know when kids have them gooses' names?”
“Just seen a dude drop £300 in cash on his leccy key. Hottest thing I’ve seen in a while”
"He had way too much real estate between nose and moustache"
"She's had more dinners than I've had hot jobs"
“It’s good here, you don’t have to listen to the meatheads giving birth” Guy at the gym
“You can’t just keeping turning your hearing aid off and using it as an excuse to ignore us” Old lady in a pub
“Ah mate, I didn’t wanna have those poppers. Should’ve stuck to me Maltesers… I’ve got a headache now”
“I would live here, but it’s too far from London”
"“Whenever somebody says 'sorry for your wait' I always think they're making a subtle fat joke”
“Everyone loves a serial killer... especially at Christmas”
“I've never seen a hash brown in a house before”
“He had a jacket potato and it really upset me”
“Oooh that bottle of red is £3.85, that'll do for them”
“I don't know how long fifteen metres is in English”
“Rona’s either made up or it int. Either way it’s boring now”
“I’m taking her to Platform 9¾ then showing her my 5¾”
“Life is very Mr Bean-ish right now”
We have a favour to ask
LeftLion is Nottingham’s meeting point for information about what’s going on in our city, from the established organisations to the grassroots. We want to keep what we do free to all to access, but increasingly we are relying on revenue from our readers to continue. Can you spare a few quid each month to support us?
