Man vs. (Vegan) Food: George White Takes the Sneinton Vegan Market Challenge

Words: George White
Monday 23 August 2021
reading time: min, words

Our George White tests his mettle at Sneinton Vegan Market, attempting an ill-advised challenge of smashing down six meals in an hour...

Everybody wants to make their mark on the world. To do something they can be truly proud of. To go to places people have never been and do things people have never done. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Lance Armstrong made headlines for… other reasons. For LeftLion’s Editorial Assistant George White, there was only one thing to do. You guessed it - eat as much food as possible at Sneinton Vegan Market in a Man v. Food-esque challenge, preferably without throwing up. We all have a dream, right? From double cheeseburgers to a slab of rainbow blondie, here’s how he got on during a scorching morning in the city…


V-Ice Screams

Food: Bubble-Gum Ice Cream
Price: £3.50
Time: 10.10am

I’m kicking things off with the only thing that makes sense - an ice cream. I know, starting with dessert would make Sat Bains cringe, but after seeing the brilliant blue of that bubblegum delight glistening in the sun, I just can’t resist. And, you know what? It goes down an absolute treat. Vegan ice cream is as good as the real thing. I said it. And V-Ice Screams’ is one of the best around. With my insides now nicely oiled, it’s on to the savoury stuff…

Khatti Meethi

Food: Meaty Roll
Price: £2.00
Time: 10.25am

After cooling my mouth with a scoop of refreshing goodness, it’s time to get spicey. Up steps the meaty roll from Khatti Meethi which, as you can probably imagine, isn’t meaty at all. It’s bloody beautiful though. With a gorgeous mix of tastes and spices all neatly wrapped inside a crispy shell, this is the work of the gods. No exaggeration. For its size, it’s surprisingly filling, but it’s no match for this man. I’ve pretty much wolfed it down in one.

Those Vegan Pizza Guys

Food: Cheese and Mushroom Pizza Slice
Price: £3.50
Time: 10.32am

Now, I’m not a vegan (although I am a vegetarian, so I still consider myself superior to meat eaters…) but I’ve tried many a vegan pizza. And, in truth, a lot of the time the cheese is the downfall. Those Vegan Pizza Guys do a damn good job though, it must be said. In fact, this might be the tastiest vegan pizza I’ve had - confirmed by the fact I demolish the slice in no longer than five seconds. Top stuff.



Food: Sushi Roll
Price: £6.00
Time: 10.40am

Going for vegan sushi having never had sushi before is a bold move, but I’m taking a punt anyway… And there are instant regrets. The sushi roll is beautifully put together and is clearly filled with top quality ingredients, but my fussy palate just isn’t having it. If you’re into this sort of stuff, you’ll love it. Sadly, I am not. It’s not you, Herbivore, it’s me… At least I’ve spared some stomach space for what’s coming next.

Vegan Junk

Food: Double Cheeseburger + Chips
Price: £6.50
Time: 10.44am

Here it is. The big boy. Vegan cheese. Two burgers. Salad. No pickles (a decision that brings a look of borderline disgust from those around me). This is a work of art that rivals Beyond Meat and Moving Mountains as the best in the business, and it comes with a hearty side order of fries too. It’s delightful, but definitely hefty. For the first time, I can feel the elastic of my shorts expanding. Are these fake meat sweats or actual heat sweats? Who knows any more…

Clemie’s Vegan Cakes

Food: Rainbow Blondie
Price: £2.50
Time: 11.03am

On the verge of throwing in the towel, I commit to some (actual) dessert. I could go for a little cupcake, sure, but the chunky rainbow blondie is calling my name. Densely packed with fudgy white chocolate and topped with sprinkles, this is a treat for the tastebuds - but a challenge for the tum tum. I power through out of sheer stubbornness, and because it tastes so, so good. But crikey, it’s wiped me out. Time for a nap, I think…

You can visit Sneinton Vegan Market on the first and third Saturday of every month from 10am

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