Since last year we got Santa in for our Pick Six, and we’re a very balanced paper, this year we decided to see what favourite things the Krampus had to shout about…
Book
I started reading a book called How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children by Lewis B Frumkes recently. I am enjoying it - there’s lots of great tips - but I feel like the author isn’t really taking the subject seriously, and there really isn’t any need to discriminate against ungifted children, we should eat them all the equally.
Song
Of course there are many traditional songs about me; Krampus is Coming to Town, Night of the Krampus, Here Comes Krampus - they are all fun songs, but if I had to pick an all time favourite, it’d be Rebecca Black’s Friday. It always does the trick of getting guests to leave after the second or third play - I would recommend it for family gatherings.
Film
Did you know, they’ve actually made several films about Krampus! I saw a few but all the CGI and prosthetics, I just didn’t find them realistic. I like horror though and really enjoyed Jack Frost (1997) and Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. I thought the bloodthirsty snowman idea was a very novel villain.
Meal
My food of choice is something people generally don’t want to hear about, but one thing I do love is Schnapps. It’s a bit embarrassing really - a little Schnapps and I lose all my fearsomeness - leave a tipple out for me and before you know it I’m singing Mariah Carey on karaoke with someone’s nan.
Holiday
Krampusnacht of course! I don’t get to go on vacation often, but this time of year is a bit like a working holiday for me. I have lots of people to visit for coal distribution and I don’t have the same magical help as St Nick. I travel the world by foot, so I tend to call it a walking holiday. Getting my steps in is important for me.
Notts Spot
Since the seventies I have loved what they did with Maid Marian Way, but these days I’d have to say the Broadmarsh development site is looking just divine. Rubble is my sandy beach, scaffolding my palm trees and brutalist car parks are the five star resorts I dream about.
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