How lucky we were, at the Theatre Royal, to learn the secrets of success from one of Britain's captains of industry. A new talent is ascendant...
Business guru Brian Butterfield graced Nottingham last night with his groundbreaking seminar ‘The Call of Now.’
Mr Butterfield needs no introduction as the entrepreneurial genius behind such legendary business ventures as Poundfield, where every product weighs a pound, (you see why we say genius). Or Butt Flix, his new streaming service that powers off his 1995 PC and can reach a vast audience of up to one person at a time.
The cult of Brian was clearly in full swing as the Theatre Royal was packed with wannabe Brian groupies, come to learn from the master himself. And learn we did.
Brian’s affable presence lit up the podium and his lessons were backed up with a state-of-the-art PowerPoint-style presentation. And he was ably assisted by his AI software who I think was called BRY-A-ON. Apologies if I got that wrong.
The audience was wowed by this AI’s perceptiveness. Volunteers from the stalls shouted out their current occupations, answered a single question (like their favourite colour) and after some humming and whirring, BR-AI-ON fed back the ideal choice of career for them. For example, an IT worker found out he’d be better employed as a web designer for spiders. Literally, Brian’s seminar was changing lives and for the better, or as Brian would modestly add, possibly the worse.
Mr Butterfield’s fiendish intelligence was at work with this nifty mnemonic
The Powerpoint included vox pop and stylish graphics such as the Five B’s to building success in the business world. And again, Mr Butterfield’s fiendish intelligence was at work with this nifty mnemonic. Not one of the 5 concepts in the plan actually started with the letter B. No wonder he is the overnight success he tells us he is.
Audience participation was key and later Brian has eleven theatregoers up on the stage roleplaying everything from the CEO to window cleaners. As for the point of the roleplay, I’m damned if I ever worked it out, but I guess that’s why Brian is the financial whizz and I’m not.
Other highlights included audience submissions for best business ideas and the grand finale of the launch of Butt Rocket, Brian’s venture into telecommunications. Butt Rocket was slightly less phallic-shaped than Jeff Bezo’s recent design. Slightly. And definitely smaller.
All in all, a hilarious night. Answer Brian’s Call of Now before it becomes the Call of Yesterday Teatime.
Brian Butterfield’s Call of Now played at the Theatre Royal on Sunday June 9th 2024.
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