Film Review: Gladiator 2

Will you be entertained? Probably not.

Gladiator II begins with a drawn-out opening credit showing animated stills of the previous film. This is done a) to remind the audience of previous events and b) to make sure that you’ll notice all the call-backs they put into the sequel from the original. Seriously, not since Snider’s wheat fetish film, Rebel Moon has there been so many repeated shots of grain being stroked.

It’s not uncommon for sequels to fail to live up to the original, but I don’t think any film in living memory has been so over-shadowed by its predecessor. In part, this is because Director Ridley Scott spends about two-thirds of the film trying to shoehorn scenes/dialog in from the original. Of course, this is not an uncommon fault in a lot of follow-up films. The bigger problem is a poor script (David Scarpa), surprisingly shabby direction and the grumpy baby performance of lead Paul Mescal (Hanno Verus).

I believe Mescal was going for ‘brooding rage,’ through most of the film but he primarily reminded me of an over-tired toddler. As mentioned, there are a lot of attempts to reference the original and perhaps the most egregious is Mescal’s, cruise ship, talent-show impression of Russell Crowe. The Irish actor simply doesn’t have the charisma of Crowe and it’s never more obvious then when Mescal has to randomly quote his predecessor from the original.

Being fair though, there’s a lot more wrong than a poor impression. Scott, in many ways, has attempted something quite old-fashioned – a straight-up ‘historic’ epic. There is nothing campy about Gladiator II, all dialogue is delivered straight up. The tongue is firmly away from cheek, even during the most melodramatic of scenes. Which is great – when they aren’t unintentionally funny because of it.

While the original Gladiator earned its emotional moments, its bastard son, like many entitled children, just wants the rewards without any of the work. Characters die, and Mescal gives his tough-guy wail, as the orchestra music swirls, letting us know that this is all very heart-breaking and tragic. However, we spend so little time with these people they might as well all be named, ‘Heroic Motivation.’ 

It's not just deaths though, by the end of the movie Mescal is the de-facto leader of the arena gladiators. Why? In a few brief scenes, he made some dad jokes. 

This laziness is seen throughout the film. In the first arena battle, uncanny valley CGI baboon-dog creatures charge into the arena to kill some Heroic Motivation/gladiators. The actual fight between Hanno and one of these monsters is legitimately intense. So intense that the other gladiators and CGI animals just kind of mill around watching. If you think this might be a one-off goof, it happens in the next arena battle as well. Perhaps that’s the real reason they follow Hanno at the end – he’s the only one actually doing anything.

There is an underlying plot of Roman intrigue going on in the background and to its credit strong performances from Denzel Washington (Macrinus – a slave cum gladiator owner), Connie Nielson (Lucilla) and Joesph Quinn & Fred Hechinger (Emperor Greta & Emperor Caracalla) do a lot with a quite frankly boring story. They are let down by direction though that seems to either cut scenes too sharply or drags them out too long. Creating a story that seems both rushed and somehow struggling along.

Events happen not because of the natural actions of characters, but more because the plot demands it. As such, it’s not just the emotion which doesn’t feel earned, it’s the entire plot.

There is some fun to be had in this drab mistake. The battle scenes are, mostly, entertaining. Denzel Washington is always watchable and brings some of his Training Day energy A-game here. Connie Nielson as tragic, Roman royalty is so good it’s a noticeable shame she’s not been a feature of Hollywood for twenty years. Newish-comers Quinn & Hechinger chew up every scene they’re in. 

Unfortunately, none of that is enough to recommend it. If you really want to be entertained, dust off the DVD player and watch the first one.