Film Review: Heart Eyes

Heart Eyes is a gory and silly horror film that will have you laughing and screaming, but definitely not falling in love. The film starts with a thrilling introduction to its main antagonist, the intriguingly named killer, Heart Eyes. We’re told that, for the past few years, he’s been moving from city to city targeting couples on Valentine’s Day. Recently, he’s struck twice: first at a winery, and then at a spa. 

Cut to the present day, and we follow cynical advertising executive Ally (Olivia Holt) and her hopelessly romantic co-worker Jay (Mason Gooding) who become the latest targets of the masked serial killer. So, if you’re a sucker in love, this one may not be for you. 

Ironically, our protagonist Ally, who has recently broken up with her boyfriend, pitches a love-themed campaign to a jewellery company about doomed couples. Seen as offensive by her boss—and everyone else—due to the recent string of murders, it’s fair to say that the pitch does not go well. Fearful she may lose her job to Jay, Ally invites him for a work dinner to discuss how he can help her fix the campaign. 

Director Josh Ruben, known for directing comedy-horror films, pulls out all the stops in this feature—showcasing romance clichés and slasher horror tropes. We’re all familiar with a heartbroken girl who swears off love, but is secretly pining for 'the one', or the slasher trope where a character runs from the killer only to trip over… nothing. They're classic tropes that we’ve seen time and time again, but we still can’t help but gasp when slowly but surely the killer gets them. 

Cut back to our pair of protagonists and, after their work dinner, Ally kisses Jay outside the restaurant to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. They hop in a cab back to her apartment, but the killer lurking in the shadows mistakes them for an actual couple, and that's when the terrifying and life-threatening chase begins. 

It’s easy to sit through this 90-minute horror fest, as it’s cleverly peppered with corny humour throughout and cutesy, love songs to remind the audience that this is still a romantic film. The cast is light and easy with two cops named Hobbs and Shaw (for those who get the reference) played by none other than Jordana Brewster (Fast and Furious) and Devon Sawa (Final Destination) who both tag-team to solve the case behind the killings. 

I couldn’t help but notice while watching this film that Jay with his charmingly good looks was constantly in harm's way whenever he was with Ally, even before the killer showed himself which seemed to be foreshadowing that he should already be running for his life. Alas, he does not. 

As our protagonists are violently chased by the masked killer and at any given chance seem to remind him (or her) that they are not a couple, they frustratingly act like one which does nothing to save their skin. As the chase continues, the humour ramps up and the truly gruesome attacks from the serial killer do too. At the film’s worst, a cop’s manhood is violently destroyed so, fair warning, avert your eyes if you’re at all squeamish…

If you thought the gruesome murders couldn’t get any worse, our main characters lead Heart Eyes to a Valentine’s Day drive-in movie theatre, and all hell breaks loose. Mass panic erupts, turning the place into a complete horror show where no one is safe.

Even though this film is twinned with being a romantic comedy, the horror definitely takes centre stage, making sure to share every gory detail with the audience. If you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day and the commercialism that comes with it every year, you’re in for a treat. Plus, if you’re single, you can sit back, and relax knowing that you’re not a target for Heart Eyes.