The triumph of M’s hit play is hijacked by motherhood. What happens now? This play gives the truths society would prefer not to know about...
M is a writer. M is a woman. M is a mother. Jane Upton’s award-winning play (the) Woman tackles all of these roles, how they conflict, negate each other, change how M sees herself and how others see her. This play shouts about how women’s lives are turned upside down by motherhood. It speaks the truths society doesn’t want to hear as it scrolls glossy images of family and motherhood on Instagram. This 105 minutes with no interval pack a punch but I will try to do it justice in just a few paragraphs.
M is a writer, a playwright. She has one successful play under her belt and on the back of that a commission for a second. In between the first success and the second commission she has a daughter. She’s always wanted children but waited a while to focus in her writing career. It didn’t take off the way she had hoped and as it has for some of her friends. Now she is potty training her two-year-old. She is exhausted, feels defeated, feels judged and wonders if marriage and a family was the right path as it’s a lie that women can have it all.
With a cast of four we are almost seeing the play that she is writing – writing when she can salvage some time when her daughter is asleep or at nursery. There are multiple quick-change scenes where M explores her changing feelings and thoughts from the birth of her first child to that of her second. Full of hope with her newborn daughter in her arms she quickly begins to lament her tired and torn body, the intimacy she can no longer feel with her husband, the dreams and fantasies she had about life and the judgement she feels from friends, family and society. Highs and lows she can’t seem to explain to those around her. Highs and lows she wants to vocalise in her new play but her (male) agents don’t believe audiences want to hear the unattractive truth of motherhood. M disagrees, so explores her own experiences and feelings and continues to write.
Mothers aren’t looked upon fondly by society if they complain about motherhood
M – played with intense emotion and energy by Lizzy Watts – is joined on a bare stage by Jamie-Rose Mark, Andre Squire and Cian Barry who play to perfection the other people in her life. By interacting with them as a representation of society at large, she encounters sorrow, hate, disgust, pity, fatigue, depression, fear and of course loss. Loss of herself, loss of her dreams, loss of her identity. Mothers aren’t looked upon fondly by society if they complain about motherhood, admit how hard it is, admit it’s not what they expected, admit there are days they hate it and themselves, admit there are days they have regrets. That’s not the ugly parts of motherhood they want to know about. M shouts it!!
M is educated, M is a writer, M is a woman, M is a daughter, M is a wife, M is a friend and M happens to also be a mother. Even in 2025 a woman is defined by her motherhood more than any of her other roles or achievements. This play tells the world how damaging that is. Jane Upton has given mothers who struggle or don’t take to it like a duck to water a voice. She tells them it’s OK not to be OK. We need more voices hers. As a mum who has and does struggle so much of the play resonated and I could hear the reactions of the very varied audience around me. Nods, laughs and gasps in unison tell me through M, Jane Upton is speaking hidden truths that need more light.
You don’t need to be a mother or parent to enjoy this play. Anyone who has given themselves to obligation and expectation will relate to the themes and honesty. Long live women like Jane Upton and M.
(the) Woman was showing at the Nottingham Playhouse from 10-11 March 2025.
Read our interview with the creator of the play Jane Upton
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