No one is immune to loneliness, and in fact, around 10-20,000 older people in Nottinghamshire are affected by loneliness according to the Loneliness and Social Isolation in Older People report (2016). Writer Frances Danylec travelled to Hucknall to meet Re-Engage, a national charity supporting isolated people aged 75 and over to make new connections; solving the social problem in a most delightful way.
We all remember the social isolation of the pandemic, but for many older people not being able to get out and see others is a relentless reality. Family moving further away can shrink our social circles. Age-related disability can prevent us from driving or make it difficult to get public transport, further limiting our opportunities to expand those circles. The World Health Organisation (WHO) have called loneliness a global concern with an impact on health comparable to other risk factors, such as smoking, obesity and physical inactivity.
Founded in 1965, Re-engage offers befriending phone calls, activity groups and tea parties as a relaxed way of helping people to keep their social connections in later life. Each month, a small team of Hucknall-based volunteers provide a welcoming tea party for six guests at an accessible venue. They offer guests a lift there too, removing the transport barrier. Rowena, who has been volunteering for over a year now, tells me she enjoys the chatter in the car as much as at the tea party itself. “They always ask how my house move is going!” she smiles. “I wanted to volunteer, but couldn’t commit to it every week. Once a month is really manageable”. Re-engage also covers the cost of the food and petrol, meaning volunteers aren’t left out of pocket.
As today’s guests start to arrive, they’re greeted with a warm chorus of hellos, a hot cuppa and an impressive array of sandwiches, fruit, delicate cupcakes and home-made treats. Some members have been coming since the start, others are new today, but the relaxed atmosphere helps everyone to feel at home quickly.
“There was a group a few years ago, but it closed because of the pandemic,” says volunteer Marta. “We re-opened it in December 2023, starting with just two guests. We have Christmas themed tea parties at that time of year and in the summer we’re usually outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine!”
As today’s guests start to arrive, they’re greeted with a warm chorus of hellos, a hot cuppa and an impressive array of sandwiches, fruit, delicate cupcakes and home-made treats. Some members have been coming since the start, others are new today, but the relaxed atmosphere helps everyone to feel at home quickly. People ask after others that can’t make it today and pick up from conversations from previous parties too. How’s your course going? How are the grandkids? It’s clear that friendships form easily here.
“It’s my second time coming here,” says Frances, one of the guests. “I enjoy it. I wasn’t used to talking to anybody, but once I start, I’m alright!” she laughs. Frances and I chat about her rich life, including her time working as a machinist for clothing brand Viyella, which she started when she left school at just fourteen. She has never stopped learning though, and says she keeps her mind active with crossword puzzles. “It’s surprising how you learn from them, you think ‘I never knew that!’”
As the conversation and laughter moves naturally around a huge array of topics – everything from dancing to dogs – I notice how rare it is that people come together like this. So often in life we only socialise with people who have similar interests or experiences to us, that we know through work, a course or a hobby. But at the tea party, there’s the opportunity to talk to fascinating people from all walks of life. “It gives you a window into a different world,” Marta tells me. “It gives me a lot, because the guests have some amazing stories! They are all lovely people. And now we have two younger volunteers taking their Duke of Edinburgh Award too, so it brings all generations together”.
The impact of the tea parties goes beyond the people present, too. Frances’ daughter Jill said: "The tea parties are a great idea, to bring together people who may be isolated. I'm so grateful to Re-engage and particularly to the volunteers who give up their time for activities like this. I am my mum's only carer, she sees very few other people so this is a lovely thing for her to do. It helps me too, as for that afternoon I get a break whilst knowing she is happy and taken care of, and enjoying lots of cake!" To passers-by, the tea parties might just look like cake and laughter. To the volunteers, guests and their family – it’s clear that health and social benefits go far beyond this.
There are several ways to get involved with the Re-engage as a host, volunteer or as a guest. Offer to be a host if you have a large room with a downstairs toilet, offer half a day a month of your time to help out as a volunteer, or join as a guest if you are age 75 and over. Visit the website below for more info.
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