Nottingham actor Laquarn Lewis on his role in the brand new BBC drama: What It Feels Like For a Girl

You started out at the Nottingham Television Workshop, which has trained some amazing local actors like Bella Ramsey, Vicky McClure and Samantha Morton. How did you get into acting, and what was your experience like there?

My mum used to go there as well actually, which not many people know. She did her bits in Casualty and was in a film called The Girl With Brains In Her Feet. So I think I take after her. I've always liked TV and film and stage and took part in it as a kid - I did all the school plays.

The funny story is when I was about eleven years old, I did audition for Workshop and the director Ian actually turned me away. But to be honest, I just wasn't ready, so I had to spend some years building up my confidence. Then when I was seventeen, I left school and I was like, ‘Oh my goodness, there's no GCSE drama anymore. What do I do?’ So I went to Workshop, and I did a play straight away which was Peter Pan. Then I got a CBBC show called Jamie Johnson and did a couple of seasons on that, and now here we are filming What It Feels Like For A Girl. It was just kind of inside of me and then Ian really took me under his wing.

What was the audition process like for What It Feels Like For A Girl?

My first audition was in June, and then I found out I got the role in March, the next year. So, I’d done many rounds and met so many different people. My anxiety was through the roof - it was the craziest ten months of my life. But the fact that the process was so long meant I had the character down. By the time we started filming, I knew who Lady Die was. 

Paris Lees is obviously one of the writers and producers - how was it to work with her?

Well she's here, there and everywhere because she's writing and executive producing. She's got so many roles, because it's her life story, it's her baby. But the fact that she was so consistent with myself and the other actors in saying, ‘Well at this point in my life, I was like this’. All these things that she gave us helped us add to the characterisation. 

Not only that, she's just fun. Yes, there's dark moments in the show, but it is fun as well - when the girls are together and they are just loving each other and enjoying themselves. It's fun and that really is Paris. She can do both - she can help you with the job and she can help you as a friend. She knows the story the best. There’s nobody better than the source, right?

The show is set in the early 2000s, and there's details to the fashion and culture which are so on point. For example there's a scene where Die is arranging CDs into the correct cases. How was it to get stuck into that era?

I was born in 2001, so for me it wasn't a nostalgic thing to step into the era. It was more like, ‘Oh my God, so this is what it was like!’ Everything takes so much longer. Even just that there are CDs, and not MP3 players. Then the phones - the little Nokia bricks - the fact that they were people's main phones back in the day and you have to type the same letter multiple times to get the one you want. It's like, no thank you - that stuff was crazy! Also the fashion - we've got the belly tops, the leopard print, and did you see what they do to my eyebrows?! I could believe it. They took me to the lady and she just yanked them out. I was crying!

Your character is Lady Die, one of Byron's best friends. She's described as ‘the premier podium dancer-cum-hellraiser’. Tell us about her - how did you get into character?

Lady Die is the friend that everybody needs. She is loving, caring, beautiful, alluring - she's that girl that you're just drawn to, and it's because she carries herself with this light. Even through her own dark times, which she has, she manages to put on a bright face and make sure she's there for other people, you know?

So her story arc is really nice because you see a change in Die in terms of her self-worth and putting herself first. She finds herself. I think especially when you're young, you're trying to find out who you are and explore your identity, and that's the great thing about Die - she helps other people too.

With Byron's family situation, it's a very toxic household. From what we get to see, Die is the complete opposite - it's very much accepting. So I think it definitely shows the differences. Die is crazy and they all do some chaotic, rebellious, mad things, you know, but she never goes as far as Byron. You've got to think about why this might happen or what's the root of that. You could look close to home, you could look at school life, there's so many factors, but Die's got it much better and I think that's evident. 

You said you got to meet the real Lady Die. Can you talk a little bit about her?

She is the best lady I've ever met. Paris called me one morning and said, ‘I'm actually with her right now - can we come get you?’ They picked me up, we went to Newstead Abbey and we just got to know each other. I got to ask everything I needed to, and honestly, we just got to have a laugh. She is so funny. Her laugh is pretty much the same as mine. Paris said, ‘Oh my God, it's like there's two of you!’ I was like, ‘Thank you - I must be doing something right then.’ She's a bundle of joy. 

What was your favourite scene to film?

Honestly, I have no idea, because there’s just so many. There’s a bit in episode four with ‘the script’ - or the toilet brush scene. Just because they’re so crazy and fun to do, we were just non-stop laughing off camera. The amount of times we had to do it because of all the angles, we were just like ‘Is this really our job?!’

Locations feature in the book and show that were hubs for the Nottingham LGBTQ+ community in the 2000s, like @d2 and NG1. Nowadays we still have the Lord Roberts and the New Foresters, but everything is a bit more open and integrated. Do you think that’s a good thing, or do you think communities are missing gay-specific venues?

I like how it's open, but the thing with Queer people, they're very accepting because they know what it's like to want to be accepted, right? And Queer spaces - we just need more of them and they just need to not be disturbed, because if you don't like it, stay away from them - that's as simple as. They are places where we feel safe, where we get to enjoy ourselves and let our hair down and just be free. So please let's get some more of them! 

Even when I was growing up - and I'm still growing up - there weren't too many gay places to go and if there were it still didn't have a queer feeling to it. But the girls have taken me on some nights out, and they were the queerest nights I've experienced in my life. Technically, I didn't even understand ‘queer’ before filming the show, because there's just a totally different world out there that I wasn’t aware of.

A lot of the story is about being an outcast and experiencing bullying. I’d like to think that things have changed, but still we’ve had the recent Supreme Court ruling about the definition of a woman. Byron and Die wouldn’t be able to use the ladies toilet now, in a lot of places - and from watching the show we know what can happen in the men’s toilets. Where do you think we're at today with that? 

As a community I genuinely thought we were getting better, but is it? I feel like now we're going backwards again, especially with the Supreme Court ruling. It’s absurd what they’ve done and now they're having repercussions that they were warned about. Nobody trans was involved in that decision. It's just wrong.

There's so many messed up things going on in the world right now and that's one of them. All we can do is keep on working on building allyship. I'm an ally for all trans people, and for all communities who struggle, because I know what it’s like to struggle.

I’m sure there’s a lot of people growing up who are struggling at home or in school, and the series really demonstrates that you can find your people. Despite their dramas, Byron, Die and Sasha all look out for each other. Tell us about their friendship…

The friendship is very much just like mine with Ellis and Hannah in real life, but without the feistiness of course from Sasha, because she can be quite difficult to Byron throughout the series. It’s not like that in real life, I can reassure you! But honestly that friendship is something we can all recognise - that we've either had or something we’ve all wanted with somebody. The experiences that these girls go through - if they didn’t have each other to talk to or relate to about it, because not everyone can relate - they would have never got to where they are. 

Byron saw Lady Die for the first time and said ‘Oh my gosh, you are beautiful. How can I be that beautiful?’ And Lady Die says, ‘You can be!’ And then we see this transformation. They found each other and formed this bond. That’s the important thing about friendship, it's a chosen family - even if your family at home is bad, which Byron’s is, he’s still got family within the Divas, which is beautiful.

The series was a really good representation of how gender is socially constructed in different ways, from Byron’s Dad - and how he conforms to traditional masculinity - to The Divas. Do you think that will help open some people’s eyes, or is it preaching to the choir? 

In my opinion this show is a hard hitter. I mean instantly, the first episode always makes me cry. There’s one scene with Byron, the mum and the dad and it's just horrible. I think if there are dads that are like Steve, who is played by Michael Socha, and they see the show, they'll give themselves time to think about what they've seen and reflect on themselves, which is what we want from the show. 

I feel like there's so much to take away from the show and learn, but also, many people are going to be like, ‘What is this nonsense? We never known anything like it.’ Maybe because they haven't lived a working class life, maybe because they haven't lived a life that is so sexually active.

This is inspired by Paris' life. It's a very unique story because again, what we're not doing here is setting the standard for trans people, right? We’re telling a very unique story and that's what happened in Paris' life. These are real humans, and there's more people out there like this. I think that if we can showcase this very authentically and raw, they can see it and feel things from it, then reflect on their life and do something about it.

What It Feels Like For A Girl premieres on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer on Tuesday 3 June. The book of the same title is available from all good bookshops. 

If you enjoyed this interview, why not check out an extended chat with LaQuarn on the LeftLion Interviews podcast here. 

@LaQuarn