Work in progress: comedian Arthur Smith on his show at the Nottingham Comedy Festival

What can we expect from your Nottingham gig? 

I'm a work in progress, or possibly weekend in Paris, whatever, it's WIP. I've got lots of ideas to try out on the audience, to help me decide which ones to go with. There's Paris, sleep, celebrities, poetry and Jane Austen. I've narrowed it down to those five, or slugs. I thought I'd challenge myself, because no one's ever done a show about slugs. 

The audience is helping you pick your next show? 

Yeah, the one I'm most advanced on is Paris. I take the audience on a weekend to Paris, and teach them French. Alors comme ça, ça va être drôle et intéressant, je crois. I spent a year in Paris, learning French. It's a wonderful city, especially when you're young, and trying to find your way. My plan is I teach the audience French, show them the best bits of Paris, and avoid the Eiffel Tower, because that's the most boring. And I'm not going to the Louvre to stare at the back of people's heads staring at the Mona Lisa.

But I've had an idea of doing a show about sleep, because it's a fascinating thing. We spend so much time doing it. My ambition is putting the audience to sleep, with very soft music, taking the lights down, speaking very slowly. Normally, obviously, it's not ideal if everyone in your audience is asleep.

Another idea is going through all the celebrities I've met, like Bill Clinton, Tony Bennett, William Shakespeare. I met him once. Actually, I didn't meet William Shakespeare, I'll be honest. But, I'd quite like to have done. I might do Jane Austen. I wish we knew more about her, because her sister burnt all her letters when Jane died. I often wonder, was Jane Austen a virgin? She probably wasn't a virgin. I'm not a virgin anymore, are you?

Um… probably not. How did you end up in comedy? 

I was eight and in a production of Peter Pan at school. As Captain Hook. I came on with my coat-hanger, shouting to frighten the parents and whatnot. But they all laughed. The harder I tried the more they laughed. I thought, yeah, I like making people laugh. It's a good way to stave off school bullies or make yourself popular. And, as I grew older, women like someone who makes them laugh. 

We went up to the Edinburgh Festival in 1977. Our show started with two people in the audience, but ended up sold out. Then alternative comedy started and I did stand-up at the Comedy Store in London, but didn't go professional till I was thirty. I had a load of jobs along the way. I might do the jobs because I was a road sweeper and a dustman. And worked as a hitman for a while. That didn't go very well.

You didn't hit anyone? 

I wasn’t really a hitman, if any coppers are listening. It's a strange thing, laughter. It's the closest we get to sounding like a chimpanzee or our old antecedents. You don't choose to laugh. You could try, but laughter just invades you really, doesn't it? 

How would you describe your style? 

Laid back, occasionally acerbic. A few one-liners. Fairly not aggressive, quite gentle. I'm probably sort of medium range, and I do a bit of poetry too. Poems. That's another possibility I'm trying out on Nottingham. I write a bit of poetry. I also learned a lot of poetry by heart. I'll do If by Arthur Kipling.

If you can roll along at a decent pace and you find that your rear contains lots of space. If you have windows at the front, yet none at the side, and offer a smooth and flashy ride. If you have a red and white flag on your bonnet and could never imagine doing a tonne, then yours is the road and everything on it. And which is more, you'll be a van, my son. 

The best Kipling I've ever heard! Are you really a grumpy old man? 

Not really. Now, that show had an impact. I still get blokes come up and say, ‘You're a grumpy old man. I'm a grumpy old man too’. And I say, in that case, you'll understand when I invite you to **** off and leave me alone.

What advice would you give to young people getting into stand-up? 

Mainly, just keep going, doing loads and loads of gigs. There's many open spots when you start out, because that's the way you learn, is when you're on stage. If they're laughing, it's going well. That's the thing about stand-up, it's unique in the sense that it's the only art form where your success is judged more or less instantly. If people laugh, good. If they don't, it isn't good. You don't need makeup or editing or directing. It's a very individual way of doing things. You have to be brave. And you'll have bad gigs along the way, that's for sure. Everyone does. And you have to get used to a bit of heckling and interacting with the audience, obviously. You just go out there and do as many gigs as you can.

You're a South Londoner. I'm from North London.

I grew up in Southwark and live in Balham, where I'm self-proclaimed Mayor. Nightmare, I don't do days. I don't really approve of North London. They have little blue plaques commemorating famous people. In South London, we have big yellow signs saying, did you see this murder? 

Why do you love South London, then? 

Balham is the finest place on earth, obviously, and it's got a tube and an overground. But I think it goes back to the sixteenth century, when hardly anyone lived in South London. People in the city used to come across the river to meet the Winchester geese, who were prostitutes, and bearbaiting and monkeys and all sorts of stuff. You went over to South London to do dodgy stuff you couldn't do in North London. We're naughtier than the North Londoners. 

What about Nottingham? 

I think I performed at the Playhouse once. And I was in a pub somewhere and remember someone telling me that there's a lot more women in Nottingham.

I think the idea is that they're prettier…

I won't be telling my wife how pretty the ladies in Nottingham are, but I might tell the ladies of Nottingham. Anyway, come along and tell me what's great about Nottingham, so I can find out and maybe move there. 

You're never moving to Nottingham. I can't see you leaving Balham.

Well, they're both pretty good. Not like Swindon.

Arthur Smith’s W.I.P is at the Nottingham Comedy Festival from Friday 30 October - Sunday 8 November 2026.

nottinghamcomedyfestival.co.uk