It comes to town every year, to the same Scroogey groans, but I will shamelessly say the Christmas market is bob on. Never mind about how cheesy it is, and the Michael Bublé repeats making your tabs bleed – that’s the charm, in’t it? Plus, there are some lovely bits to stuff stockings and gobs alike.
At one end is a reindeer and ostrich burger bar which, at first, I found a touch morbid. I don’t think the festive feeling was helped by the fake, mounted reindeer trophy head on the pillar, fully adorned with painted red eyes. Nonetheless, there was a quest at hand. I’d had a bacon sandwich that morning, and I’m not one to be a hypocrite, so down the gullet Rudolph went. It’s a bit steep at a fiver a pop, but with blue stilton mayo, a bit of cheddar, rocket, and onions friend in Jack Daniel’s sauce, the juicy, slightly sweet flavoured meat was a definite goer.
My mate had a wild boar cob from another stall, with stuffing and apple sauce slathered all over it, for four quid. Bloody gorgeous. Thick, tender, and a perfect cockle-warmer. I had to sample this delight, so I gave up a forkful of my prime dish in exchange. That’s right – the goose fat roast taters with beef stew. You’ve gotta get stuck in to these bad boys. You can hear the potatoes in the pan, clicking away at the poetry of their crispy edges and fluffy centres as you walk past. And that stew, the meat a touch overcooked, is flavoured with a force to make the Jedis jealous.
There’s more hot food aplenty – bratwursts, churros with dippy chocolate, cherry brandy strudels from the Bavarian bakery – but some of the most interesting edibles lie in the independent stallholders’ hands. There’s Irn Bru and white chocolate Baileys fudge; vegan and gluten-free chocolate from The Chocolate Workshop; tiny clouds of joy (marshmallow snowcakes); Wiltshire Chilli Farm sauce, heat spanning from the fruity mango condo to a sweat-inducing golden bonnet cough; and the finest of Lincolnshire Poacher cheeses, all available in lovely gift-wrapped packages.
The most impressive, though, sits in the Cherry Tree Preserves hut. Spicy gooseberry and coriander chutney, peach and amaretto jam, raspberry curd, blackcurrant and sloe gin jam – yes, it’s all as good as it sounds. And then some. Me belly needed five minutes, so it was a hot, mulled cider with amaretto beside the helter skelter for me. Very tasty, but at six bleddy quid, I’d rather stick a bottle of Frosty Jacks in the kettle and be done with it. Bridie Squires
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