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“It was literally the worst situation of my life. I didn’t know whether to swipe left or right!”
Man on phone: No, I don’t want anything. Can you leave me alone please?
Next man: Was that your mum?
“I went to the hospital with my knee and the doctor looked like Peter Andre. I didn't like him. I thought he might start dancing.”
Boy: They’ve opened a Taco Bell.
Lady: I don’t think there’ll be anything for me there.
Boy: Why’s that?
Lady: I’m vegetarian.
Boy: But… they’ll have vegetables.
“Nothing says Cheeky Nandos more than a mobility scooter.”
“If I was to go into battle, I would probably ride a goat.”
Man: What the fuck are these things going around the city?
Man 2: Trams, mate
Man: Just had a bacon bap.
Woman: A what?
Man to public urinator: ‘Ave sum manners for the kids and yerself! I should get me dog to chew yer knob off, ya dutty peasant!
Man 1: Ever seen an albatross on the River Trent?
Man 2: Isn’t that a dinosaur?
“I’m always up for trying anything sometimes.”
Woman 1: As if they have shoes for cats. What’s that? A large shoe?
Woman 2: Yeah. In case your cat is a dog.
More Overheard in Notts
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