“Trust the sun to come aaht naah.” - Woman in big coat
“Skegness is Chav Planet. It’s like Clifton on speed. No. Clifton, on speed, on the coast.”
“I can’t believe you as got a whole tube of Pringles, you is styling it.”
Man: Can I have some first-class stamps?
Woman: Certainly, how many?
Man: I’m not sure, do you have any with pictures on?
Woman: Unfortunately not. We just have the standard ones.
Man: Oh, I don’t think I’ll bother then.
“Danish kroner? When you going to Denland then?”
“They used to salt your pints back in the day. When I say back in the day, I mean the Middle Ages.”
Man 1: My ex-girlfriend attacked her housemate with a makeshift flamethrower.
Man 2: You dodged a bullet with her, mate.
Big Issue Seller: It’s not the money. I’m just tired of people ignoring me.
“She was so nervous on the plane and the fella next to her really calmed her down. Well, that and four pints of Stella.”
“Watching nature documentaries on ket makes so much sense. You look at the zebras and it’s just like, yeah man.”
“We tried to teach him the value of money so we gave him two quid, but Kinder Eggs were on reduced for 20p each so he spent it all on them.”
“It’s half three and Yates’s already has bouncers on the door. That’s why I love Nottingham.”
“They were in the right place at the right time, like Samantha Fox or… or... Tony Blair.”
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