The dreaded Black Friday on Clumber Street...
Nottingham Shopping
Buckle up comrades, it’s that time of year again. Aunt Gladys wants a new leccy toothbrush after wearing out the one you got her last year – gawd knows how, it was an Oral Bizzle an’ all – and yer nippers are screaming at the top of their little lungs for a top-of-the-range Frostbite Mini Onion Legolas Kitchen Race Track. Or whatever the bleedin’ hell it was they said. So, jump on the Bendigo Thompson tram and pray to the Dear Lord Baby Jesus that you can soak up some fighting spirit for the onslaught that’s about to come your way. Clumber Street is only for the hardcore. Avoid at all costs, unless you want to get trampled by the most intense, Santa hat-sporting mams of the UK. And if you fancied just ‘nipping in’ to grab a couple of bubble bath boxes from Boowutts, don’t. Just brushing past a frantic nutcase shopper will infect you with frenzy like the venereal disease they are, and you’ll end up leaving town with gift-wrapped bogroll, ornamental dragons, and a book on the history of the Facebook status. All for the bargain price of £562.82. Be wise, stay safe and, for the love of Cockleman, stay out of Broado.
Sunday 1 December - Thursday 24 December, 24/7, City Centre
Beer and Carols
We don’t half love a good tradition in Notts. October has welcomed Goose Fair to Forest Rec for over 700 years, and the good old mushy pea and mint sauce combo has seen us through for decades. Another old and faithful, is the carol concert at Malt Cross, that this year, has had to extend it’s run over three nights to accommodate for the hoards of Hoodtowners that descend on the former Victorian music hall every year. So there’s more chance that you’ll be able to squeeze in, adorned in your crimbo jumper, of course, and enjoy some proper traditional Christmas tuneage.
Tuesday 15 - Thursday 17 December, 7.30pm, free, Malt Cross
Tissues at the ready, it's the final countdown...
Jumpers for Goalposts
Just like the Netflix series’ that see us through troublesome break ups and nippy winters, everything has to come to an end. Much to our despair, one of those things is the almightily crafty Alley Cafe affair that is Jumpers for Goalposts. After ten years of music and making, the night has run it’s course, and to celebrate, you’re invited to an evening of reminiscing on the good old days, like when Jake Bugg popped along for a sing song, or a teeny tiny orchestra of instruments played the Dr Who theme tune. Plus, there’ll probably be the craft competition to end all craft competitions, with some right festive prizes to be won. Gerron down and see ‘em off in style.
Thursday 17 December, 8pm, free, Alley Cafe
Hung Daddy & Blackmail Box
If you were desperate for an evening of rock and roll to cleanse the tabs of all traces of Silent Night and primary school versions of Little Donkey, then you may rejoice in the knowledge that the wait is almost over. The Running Horse will be hosting a wallet-friendly evening of proper rock and roll, with bands including the recently formed Blackmail Box, multi-instrumentalist Gavin Bradshaw, and ultimate favourites on the scene, Hung Daddy. It’ll be a late one, with the headline act not starting until past 10pm, but if you pace yourself, and have a packet of pork scratchings at the bar, you’ll be sure to see it through to the bitter sweet end.
Friday 18 December, 8pm, free, The Running Horse
The Lofthouse is the only place y'all wanna be...
NG:She Christmas Party
This year, the Nottingham airwaves have been transformed by the voices of JoJoW and RoseBlah, bringing a whole lotta woman power to the old ear drums. Not only that, but they’re bringing you the Crimbo party to trump all Crimbo parties, with live music from Jasmin Issaka, Alexa Hawksworth and headliner, Sabrina Sandhu. They’re promising to get you right in the festive mood, with Xmas tunes and more than likely, a fair few mince pies. If you arrive before 10pm, you get a discounted entry of £3, so get your skates on and head over to 35 Warser Gate for a right old shindig that’ll see you well into the early hours of Saturday morning.
Friday 18 December, 8pm, £3 entry before 10pm, £4 after,The Lofthouse
Present Laughter
Christmas at the theatre can be quite hit and miss. Especially if pantomime dames and cries of “It’s behind you!” are enough to send you grinch-green. Lace Market Theatre have got the perfect antidote to glass slippers and glittery musical numbers in their latest offering, depicting the celebrity life of the conceited Garry Essendine. Finding joy in rave reviews, West End roles and swooning female fans, the forties era celeb has his work cut out for him with both his business manager’s wife and his own estranged wife. Expect a proper Christmas spirit free evening. Perfect for all you Scrooge’s out there...
Runs until Saturday 19 December, 7.30pm, £11, Lace Market Theatre
The most alternative Christmas party...
Lawnmower Deth
Parody thrash metal band Lawnmower Deth are making their way to the legendary Rock City in time for Christmas. Yep, the Earache Records stalwarts are coming to whack a smile on the face of the mosh pit with their tongue-in-cheek tunes. And it’s all in celebration of Rock City’s 35th birthday. So crack out the party hats, blowers and banners and get down to big up your favourite gig venue by rolling around on the floor to tunes like March of the Dweebs and I Got The Clap And My Knob Fell Off. There can’t be many better ways to spend your Satdee night, especially with acts like Slade UK, Reign of Fury and Beholder as support to boot.
Saturday 19 December, 3.30pm, £18.15, Rock City
Christmas Covers
Nottingham bands have been known to blast amplifiers around the city in style. We get quoted as a city to watch, a music scene on the rise, and all that lovely stuff. But for one night of the year, some of the best bands to roam our gig venues chuck their proverbial popped collars out the window, trading ‘em in for Christmas joy, and belt out their favourite festive earworms. Now in its fourteenth year, the annual knees-up shows no sign of backing down. Good news for every musical bogger who likes to get wappy over the jollies – makers and lovers alike. Plus, it’s all for charity. Nottinghamshire Hospice and Framework can look forward to a split pot of Christmas cheer all thanks to the likes of Ulysses Storm, Blunt Mountains, The Cusp, Dog Explosion, 8mm Orchestra, Revenge of Calculon, Twenty Year Hurricane, The Shandy-Las and more. Not only will you get to sing your heart out along with a crowd of merry fellows and lasses, but you’ll get all the warm fuzzies after donating summat for the communiteh. This one’s definitely gonna be a sell-out, so bag ‘em while you can.
Saturday 19 December, 7.30pm, £7.75, The Bodega
For the motherload of everything else going on this week check out our comprehensive Nottingham events listings.
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