Left Pie-On: November

It would be remiss to begin a look back after the last month or so without dredging up the foetid corpse of Notts’ FA cup campaign and picking over the bones. Being dumped out by non-league opposition is nothing new to the Meadow Lane faithful. However whereas previous humblings to Southport, Kettering Town and Havant & Waterlooville took place in relative anonymity, the Class of ’92-backed Salford City pulled down our trousers in front of the BBC cameras and exposed the team’s impotence before the watching nation.

 

By way of context, the footballing public’s revulsion at the excesses of the professional game has never been more acute.  At the very highest level the sport is governed by a flying circus which ceased to be funny long ago, a gravy train (with biscuit wheels) for those on board, to whom the word ‘corruption’ has no meaning. Despite its protestations, the domestic game is little better, with mind-boggling sums being pumped in by broadcasters, most of which ends up in the pockets of moderately skilled players and their agents long before it filters down to grass roots.

 

Consequently, it was never going to be easy playing a villainous supporting role in a BBC drama, teed up by two weeks of documentaries portraying a community club staffed by likable part-timers and volunteers. As a spectacle it couldn’t have been cast better: from Salford’s good cop / bad cop management duo, the saucy tea lady, the obligatory player racing off hastily to begin a night shift, and all underpinned by household names from a football age gone-by, still in touch with their roots despite their considerable fortune. When the kids wearing Parka jackets invaded the pitch at the end, it likely sealed the match director’s BAFTA nomination.

 

Notts have been the unwitting fall guy so often in our long and tortuous history, and when faced with this salt-of-the-earth cast the team appeared overawed, seemingly all too aware that the magic of the FA Cup was about to publically turn them into a toad.

 

Up until the Cup debacle there were signs that the team had turned a corner following an up and down early season; total football one week, totally abject the next. This had cranked the pressure up on head coach Ricardo Moniz, who really did need two positives at home to Yeovil Town back in mid-October in order to quell the murmurings of discontent following the televised defeat to Plymouth. A 2-0 victory not only provided a welcome three points but also contained that rarest of commodities: a clean sheet.

 

Off the pitch, Moniz’s position was further consolidated a few days later. For some time a bloated spectre had been haunting Meadow Lane like a Pillsbury Doughboy, but this was vaporised by Massimo Cellino when he decided to cross the streams and appoint Steve Evans as Leeds United manager. Evans is likely to remain at Leeds about as long as a stray chocolate éclair in the Elland Road canteen. However whilst the chairman’s fragile patience does last, it removes speculation that Evans will be craned in to take over from Moniz.

 

Some of the widely held reservations about Moniz are justifiable, not least his attempt to bring back the sheepskin collar, not seen in dugouts around the Football League since the 1970s. However it is undeniable that he boasts an excellent CV, achieving success at a host of notable clubs around Europe and is also reputed to be a fantastic coach, particularly where developing young players is concerned. If he is ultimately to prove more Ron Atkinson than Ronnie Corbett, he has to learn lessons from the team’s early season kamikaze approach to chasing victory at all costs, leading to our downfall on numerous occasions.

 

On which note, while goalless draws are rarely a cause for celebration in football, the midweek blank at Bristol Rovers suggested previous defensive frailties were beginning to be addressed. Good teams defend as a unit and, although there have been a number of glaring errors at the back, the gung-ho nature of Moniz’s previous tactics (particularly away from home) frequently left the defense horribly exposed. That we went to Bristol on a cold Tuesday and came away with something showed encouraging signs (at least until lowly Newport went there four days later and trounced them 4-1).

 

Another away point in the South-West a few days later offered further hope that Notts had developed what, in coaching parlance, is annoyingly referred to as an ‘effective game-management strategy’. Although not managing to keep another clean sheet, Notts defended resolutely in achieving a 1-1 draw at Exeter City, following an opener from the hosts which should perhaps have been disallowed for a foul on Izale McLeod at the start of the move. Liam Noble’s smart control and finish proved enough to take a share of the spoils and make it three games unbeaten – and all this after a match that was perhaps more memorable for Exeter manager’s Paul Tisdale’s pork-pie hat, apparently determined not to be outdone by Moniz in edgy touchline fashions.

The visit of Portsmouth the following week presented a good examination of what lessons Moniz had learnt from his crash course in English lower-league football. Much like Notts, Portsmouth used to be quite good and their presence in the basement trumps any unwanted claim by Notts of being the most recent team in the division to have graced the top flight. Consequently, the match had something of a big game feel to it, the sort of occasion in which we normally flounder.

 

Not this time though. The Pompey chimes barely had chance to stop tolling after their early opener before Graham Burke smashed in an equaliser from the edge of the box. An enthralling game of football followed, the sort of occasion that reminds you why put up with the trappings of a life watching Notts. Enduring the cold, the boredom, the pigeon poo on your seat, the one-up-top, the dodgy tannoy (public address system), even the moronic comments shouted from the back of the Pavis Stand – all seems worth it on days like this. After Alan Sheehan settled the contest with possibly the worst 40-yard screamer ever seen at The Lane, the 4500 or so home fans left the ground on the crest of a wave, a mere four points off the playoffs with six months of the season still ahead for us to assert our quality.

 

And then Salford happened, skewing more perspectives than mind-altering internet drugs in a Daily Mail exclusive, all of which was compounded by a comedown lasting weeks, not days, as a result of the farcical decision to postpone the Wycombe game due to international call-ups.

The reaction on social media has been predictable. Whereas the message boards remained relatively quiet during Notts’ early autumn upturn, the 48 hours following the defeat witnessed a public outpouring of anger and recrimination on a scale not seen since they stopped selling chips in The Kop. The poison bottled up over a number of weeks was well and truly shaken up and uncorked, leading to page after page of threads and Facebook comments demanding, amongst other things; the manager’s head, an apology from the players, a written statement from the chairman, and the public flogging of Julian Jenner.

 

The performance at Salford was truly dreadful, completely unacceptable; on that the two social media factions highlighted in last month’s column – the ‘Nodding Dogs’ and the ‘Bed-Wetters’ – have achieved a rare consensus. On a night when Forest were rising to the occasion in front of the cameras and putting Derby to the sword, the pain was particularly acute and no doubt many a Notts fan (at least one) abandoned Friday night plans to rendezvous with their Forest mates out of sheer embarrassment.

 

The sad fact is that Notts will always let you down. Whether its FA Cup humiliation on the pitch or takeovers from pretend royal families off it, it never seems to be our day and probably never will be. Nevertheless, the focus this season has always been on promotion and, whilst Salford stung everyone, we as fans should not lose sight of the fact this remains readily achievable from what is a truly woeful division.

 

At least that is what a decent therapist would tell you.

 

All photos supplied by Notts County FC