image: Raphael Achache
“Wind your neck in you little long Pepperami. You're a bit of an animal, innit. I'm tryin' to stop this wheezin’.” - Smoking lady
“I've got a feeling I'll need a poo when I get home.”
"Babe. When I die, will you make sure I'm buried with my eyelash curlers?"
“You should come to Notts mate, I promise you won’t get shot.” - Lad on phone
“Matlock? You should visit the aquarium. It’s only two pound and the animals are definitely sad.”
Bloke: What do you mean you can't understand me?! I'm Irish. IRISH!
Muffled reply from man inside house.
Bloke: Right! That's it. I'm going to smash your fucking head in!
Another muffled reply from man inside house.
Bloke: I-RISH! IRISH! FUCKING IRISH!!
“I tried to be both [Muslim and Atheist] but my parents wouldn't let me."
"If you want to continue seeing me, you need to stop shagging my sister."
“When me and Rebecca try for a baby, I won't smoke weed again. Gotta be 100% focused.”
Woman: Where are you going to pull off?
Man: I'll pull off anywhere I bloody like.
At a free doughnut stand.
Lady: Carol, what is a crispy cream?
Caz: It's one of them biscuits you used to dunk in your tea
Lady: Oh, I like them.
Caz: I'd like to see people get that excited about a custard cream stall.
"Yo, bring da bill boss... before my missus starts orderin’ cheese boards and shit yeah." - Man in curry house
"What?! Even if I was growing weed in my flat I cannot have used that much electricity!" - Man on phone
Dad: This area is called the Lace Market.
Little girl: Cool, is that where they make all the strawberry laces?
"Might take the kids to their first funeral next week."
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