Overheard in Notts

Big Baby's got his ear on you...
 

Bloke 1: Have you got Sky?
Bloke 2: No, it's shit.
Bloke 1: Why's that then?
Bloke 2: I didn't pay my bill and the fuckers cut me off.

“He's got his socks everywhere, the bastard.”

"Mum, can you come and get me? I'm at Goose Fair and I've just been sick all over myself."

"It's almost like they're in 3D... when they are in 3D." - Student talking about fireworks 

“We should go to France. I've heard they've got cheese and shit.”

Lad 1: Are you a fed?
Lad 2: He’s a fed!
Bloke: That’s an American thing.
Lad 1: Only a fed would know that.
Bloke: You would have to be pretty dumb not to know that.
Lad 2: Why are you speaking funny?
Bloke: I’m northern.
Lad 1: All northerners are feds!

Person 1: It's raining.
Person 2: You can't have fireworks outside in the rain!
Person 3: Will you be moving the bonfire indoors?

“I haven’t got an arse, you haven’t got an arse, you know what I mean?”

“£4.90 a pint and they're going straight through me.”

“There's two girls outside, one looks like Santa and the other looks like a snowman.”

"So... I ended up tonguing my gay best friend."

“Does the risotto come with rice?”

“Can you get left-handed spoons?"

"You can't just 'pick the green bits off' man, it’s fucking pork."

"Yo, what's up with the bread aisle? It's crumpetsed to fuck and the missus wants muffins."

Man: Why don’t you want a reindeer burger?
Lady: Because it’s sad.

Lady 1: Hasn't it been mild?
Lady 2: Yes. You should see the size of my clematis.

#OverheardInNotts